So I set out to write a weekly update post and I realized that most of the things that I was going to write about are really good things. This, of course, makes me paranoid. How can so many good things be going on in my life? And what are the odds the universe won’t soon seek to counterbalance them?
I dunno, but in the interim, here is my update. If you’re on Facepuke, you’ve seen all my news, so sorry for the duplication.
1. I officially got my new title at work. If you’ll remember, 15 months ago, I got a new job with more responsibilities, but that was all I got: more work. Then 8 months later, I got the raise to go with the new job. It was a very respectable raise, enough to put me firmly in the Adult category with my salary. Now, after 15 months of doing the job, and 7 months of being paid for it, I finally got the title to go with it. I don’t think of myself as an ambitious person professionally, but it’s kinda cool to have a fancy title to identify myself with. When I call people, there’s a lot more authority in being able to see I’m the office manager of a whole school, rather than the secretary of a department.
2. I sold a book. I mean, really, seriously, sold a book. It’s not that I have anything but respect for small presses, the people who run them, and the people published by them. I totally respect the process and the people. I was thrilled to have my first two novels published by a small press. But this is a whole other ballgame, my people. We’re talking mid five figures. We’re talking an imprint of one of the Big 5 Publishers. An imprint you’ve probably heard of. An imprint you possibly own books from. We’re talking a professional, successful editor, a marketing department, and national exposure. So wow. I’m still trying to process it. I’ll be signing the contract some time this month, and perhaps I’ll see the first part of the money by the end of the year, but who knows?
3. I set out on September 1st with a challenge to myself to consume NO added sugar for 30 days. Certainly, any naturally occurring sugar in fruits or vegetables were allowed, but I vowed to consume no food that was processed with added sugar. Having sworn that, I thought, “Why not go ahead and do the 30 days low carb, too?” And then on September 2nd I had a terrible day and succumbed to Mexican food and pop. So, I set out on September 3rd with a challenge to myself to consume NO added sugar for 30 days. That challenge stuck. Today is Day 30 and, having survived the last 29, I’m pretty sure I’ll make it through the day. I knew I would see some weight loss as a result of cutting out sugar and dropping my carbohydrate consumption under 50 g per day. In my fantasy, I was going to lose 20 lbs in 30 days. I came pretty damn close. When I got on the scale this morning, the magic number was 191. That’s 19 lbs less than I weighed on September 3rd. So 10% of my body weight in 30 days. I’m sure the next 19 lbs won’t be that easy to get off, but at least I’ve got a jump start on the process. Top two side effects of the weight loss: I have more pants to wear to work than the one pair of emergency fat pants I wore all summer AND my uterus is a lot less angry.
4. Having typed out these wonderful, exciting things, I just realized I am probably never going to get laid again. Because that seems like the only likely retribution the universe will exact for my current happiness. Day job is going okay, writing job is fantastic, losing weight, oh, and book money will help me finish the last big projects on my house. So personal life? Sex life? Nah. Prolly not gonna happen. Oh well. It was nothing but a headache when I had a sex life, so I suppose I’ll be fine.
5. Speaking of, in fairly neutral news, I have not heard from Blurter in a while. I think this is a good sign. After all, he chooses to be absent from my life, so why should I have to put up with his importunate texting? Farewell, I say. The dogs and I have settled in nicely to our blurtless life. He would be more complication and might get ideas about things. Nothing good comes of that.