No, I’m not pregnant. Stop it with that, okay?
I do, however, have an electrician. He’s at the house *right now* doing electrically things. Shhh … don’t scare him away. These Kansas electricians are delicate, shy little creatures.
Oh, the unspeakable, you wanna know about that?
I got my new Rammstein CD. It is full of delicious guitar crunchiness and snarling vocals and … Edith Piaf. For reals. That’s not what’s unspeakable, though. I love Edith Piaf. What’s so horrific is that I think Till Lindemann isn’t just my Armageddon Fuck* anymore. As long as he’s willing to sing Edith Piaf songs, I might, just maybe, possibly want him to call me the morning after the world ends. If you’re scared to click on it and listen, don’t be. This song is fairly quiet and suspiciously ballad-like.
The song is Springtime in Paris, with part of the refrain being “Springtime bleeds in Paris.” (It’s Rammstein, there’s got to be pain or blood or something.) But they also borrow the refrain from one of Edith’s most famous songs:
Oh, non, rien de rien / Oh, no, nothing at all.
Oh, non, je ne regrette rien / Oh, no, I regret nothing.
Till has a little difficulty wrapping his mouth around the French, but it all sounds lovely, replete with roaring guitars.
*For those of you not familiar with the concept of Armageddon Fuck™ let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. The AF is a person who, on a conscious level, disgusts you. A person who is not merely unattractive from an aesthetic viewpoint, because sometimes the AF is physically attractive to other people, but a person whose behavior or general demeanor or social status or public personna repulses you. No way you would ever want to have sex with that person … unless the world were going to end in the next hour or so and you knew you would never have to see the AF again and he/she would never call you. One shot, death imminent, a chance to fulfill all your most embarrassing, skankiest sexual fantasies. Because secretly, subconsciously, you really do find that person attractive.
As an example of the concept: a certain relative of mine who shall remain nameless, her Armageddon Fuck is Leonardo DeCaprio. Now plenty of people find him attractive and plenty of them would be happy to have him call the morning after, but my sister unnamed relative finds him kind of skeavy and way too popular. Unless the world were going to end. The lead singer of Rammstein, however, is the prototype Armageddon Fuck. I find him physically repellent. I like big bruisers, especially with a little gut, but he’s a greasy, sweaty, hairy, sneering, contemptuous, chain-smoking *shudder*. Except when he opens his mouth and sings. He can count to four and make me weak in the knees.
I must go rock out. More on Rammstein and the house develops tomorrow.
I love Metallica but haven't listened to much Rammstein. That will have to change! I hadn't heard the term Armageddon Fuck, nor really thought about it much, but now it will be fun to consider who the candidate(s) would be. Snerk. I did have a strange dream awhile ago that I was kissing two guys I work with and it turned out the one I wouldn't have wanted to kiss in the first place was a much better kisser than the one I always have thought I would want to kiss. That was a pleasant surprise even though it was just kissing.
*whispers* yay for the electrician!
Well, Armageddon Fuck™ is my creation, as far as I know, but I think I've discussed it here before. And yes, it's that creepy feeling that someone you find disgusting is maybe also someone you find attractive. As for Rammstein…well, I'll keep posting more from the new album to demonstrate why I lurve them.
I remember being intrigued by some of their stuff years ago….kids in high school listening to it….but I never followed up on them.
In that photo Till looks eerily like a Robert Downey, Jr., ramped up on steroids and then gone to seed eatin' knockwurst and fried potatoes for a decade or so.
LOL. Hmmm…might explain why RDJ earns a spot on the Armageddon Fuck list…
What happens if you happen to accidentally sleep with someone who (had you been sober at the time) you would have considered to be an AF? Does this bring on the armageddon event, in a world spiralling out of control sense? Or is this just the reason we have the phrase "I hate myself"?
Don't judge… Many of us have done it at some point.
No, I don't think fucking the Armageddon Fuck will actually bring on Armageddon. Just serious morning-after regrets.
Oh I like the AF concept. I will have to think about it. This will be fun!
Sounds like there needs to be some rules to this whole Armageddon Fuck™, if you ask me. You can't just trademark it unless you define it.
I just want to know why the electricians in Kansas are shy delicate sorts? Around here, they are usually screaming, flailing and falling off metal ladders as they work on live circuits. And that's the licensed electricians we contracted with at work…..
There is only one rule: it has to be someone whom you secretly find sexually attractive, but would be horrified to ever hear from again after sex, and embarrassed if anyone found out you had had sex with that person. Ergo: someone you'd only fuck if the world were ending. Not in desperation, but in the belief that you could fuck that person without repercussions, either emotional or social.
I don't know why they're so shy, but I've called 13 different electricians in the area. Several were so shy they never called me back. Most of them were too shy to actually offer me a bid, despite me calling them multiple times. Even the one who finally agreed to do the work seems like he might dart away if I say the wrong thing.
I have not hired any for residential work. So maybe the ones in Kentucky specializing in residential work are also shy and delicate. I usually do not have a problem with getting them to give bids for my workplace. But then I think they want to come by just out of morbid curiosity. My workplace is fed with 5 different transformers from the utility company. And yes it is a small facility.
Heh. Just got the galleys for WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT IN BED and read your AF quote. heeee…