Voting
I cast my meaningless presidential vote. After all, Kansas hasn’t gone for a Democrat since FDR, when they were even willing to vote against their home state candidate Alf Landon. So I didn’t spend a lot of time making sure Obama’s bubble was thoroughly filled in. I’m only there to vote a straight Democratic ticket for all the local offices. There have been times when I was tempted to vote for a Republican, but I always think, “Hey, if you’re so great, why don’t you do something to fix this busted, fucked up Republican Party that is run by crazy people?”
Anyway, I voted, after presenting my valid photo ID, because Kansas is one of those states. The only concession they give is that people over 65 can use an expired photo ID.
Fat
So I was just remarking on this over on Leeeeenda’s blog, but how does one fix a messed up body image? Like I was so sure I’d feel a lot better once I got down to 180. Here I am. 180. Still feel like a manatee. Yeah, I’m wearing some clothes that I haven’t worn in years, but I still feel huuuuuge. My next goal is 160. Will I feel any better when I hit that or will I still be feeling like a slab of lard on legs? Hard to say. I thought I was disgustingly fat when I weighed 100. I felt like an enormous porker at 140. Was there ever a point when I didn’t feel fat? Nope. What the fuck, Gus?
Smut
So remember when I sold that smutty short story a while back? Well, I’ve done it again. For the last three years, I’ve been promising folks that I was writing a smutty story about Krampus, the Christmas Devil. I was planning to submit it to a few places, but then I decided that I might as well try a little experiment, so I published it my ownself. I know it’s goofy as hell. I hate Christmas. Why write a Christmas-y story? Because it’s Krampus. He’s the anti-Santa. How could I not? It’s available at a modest price from Amazon or for a wide variety of e-book formats at Smashwords. It’s more fun and romance, but it definitely contains smut, inappropriate for people under 18. You know, unless you were like me and were reading Jean M. Auel book when you were ten. (Ah, those horny cavemen.)
A Kiss from Krampus
Since this is my first self-published item, I’m very curious to see how it does with just a little word of mouth. So far the process has been pretty simple. In fact, getting it onto Amazon was really easy. If this one makes any money, I may have to consider publishing a few other unloved stories.
So, did I mention that after I published that earlier link to my smutty short story that two people sent me sad-panda e-mails about how they couldn’t read my blog anymore now that it had “adult content.” I’m still getting a giggle over that. Because really? A link to a smutty book counts as “adult content,” but these same two people were perfectly happy to read my smutty account of sex at Blurter’s print shop? Ah yes, it’s all about appearances. It’s okay to read smutty things, but you can’t read things that are openly and publicly acknowledge to be smutty.
People are weird.
Ha! This is so neat!! Being the new owner of a Kindle I have to try about everything and see how it works. Went on the Amazon link – and bought your story.
) of things.
I am just amazed how this world works today with technology and the instant-anity (I know it is not a word, but we should have it
I mean – imagine: I did read your post just about a minute after you posted it, went to look for the story, bought it and within second received it….. mind blowing….
My mind is boggled on a daily basis by where we are with technology. Especially when I think of the leaps that have been made in my lifetime. When I was a kid, we had a party line and a rotary phone. Now, I can use my phone to check my e-mail, something that wasn’t even available when I was a kid. so yeah, the immediate buying, selling, and reading of electronic books? *boggle*
And I hope you enjoy the story!
Hehe, sounds like we are from about the same generation. I remember us having the same phone.
Am enjoying it so far. Should study – but couldn’t stop my curiosity….According to Kindle 17% into the story.
I will never be able to look at Krampus the same way ever again
Joke aside: you mentioning that people barely remember him actually hit home with me. Because I used to be fully aware of who that character is and how he fit into the whole story. Now it only somewhat came back by reading your story. *hanging head in shame*
It’s not your fault! It’s that evil old Bettina!
I never knew who Krampus was until college. Then recently, he’s made a sort of resurgence on the internet, so I have a group of writing friends who are quite fond of him. That’s where the Krampus smut got its start.
I never heard of Krampus, but I will definitely be Kindling your story!
People are weird.
Congrats on making a lot of healthy choices! I know you did cos that’s shifting a lot o lard, yo. I’ve been eating INSANELY for over 2 weeks but food’s my drug of choice and I need drugs. I’m on Fitocracy (it’s my latest fitness bs thing) and I’m digging it — if it were about eating healthfully, I don’t think I’d like it as well. Ha har meh. I talk about fitness and crap like that a lot on realmeWP. Lately, I just bitch about health issues.
I haven’t voted yet cos I was up at 3AM (not my choice) and then working but I’ll get in there after. I used to have that button that said, ‘my vote cancels out y’alls.’ That’s why I get in there. Cancelling one more dick vote. This morning I announced anybody voting for Akin ought to be killed. Don’t get me going.
Fucking Akin. If he wins, I will … I will glare harder than usual at cars with Missouri license plates.
Like you, food is my drug of choice, so the last two years have not been very pretty. I’m sloooooowly slogging back to a place where I can eat what I want just in smaller amounts. It’s all I can do.
I think the better word for “weird” might be “repressed.”
Ha! Yes, that’s true, too.
BSG has been tasked with dropping off my early mail-in ballot that I forgot to fill out and mail-in before it was too late. And now I’m out of town so he’s going to drop off my meaningless presidential vote (yay, Arizona) but hoping to make a difference locally.
Changing body image is hard. When I was super skinny, it was because I was miserable. Now I’m happy, but with more extra pounds than I’d like so it’s a struggle to remind myself I’m fine. I’ve always had the Buddha belly since puberty so that has always been dragging down my body image.
Interesting that people had to tell you they weren’t reading you any more, instead of just stopping. I’m always surprised when people feel the need to say things like “I’m disappointed with you.” If I am disappointed with someone, I just change my expectations and interactions. I don’t feel need to alert them to the judgement I’ve passed.
Yeah, I kinda hate living in a red state sometimes. Especially when we go and do something truly stupid like electing Brownback. Oy.
Yes, I thought it was fascinating that these two people felt the need to alert me to their defection from my smutty blog…
Oh yeah, your blog is soooooo slutty. *eyeroll*
I am all for smut, so smut away!
And it is interesting that people have to announce “I’m leaving.” Bye!
I love the drama/attention queens who announce they’re dropping you, or that they’re leaving blogging. I assume they’re requesting a bunch of people to beg them to stay.
Voting
yep, I voted here in my very red state. red state even though it went for Bill Clinton twice, so part of the state redness is spelled “racist”. most sadly.
Fat
I hear you. a twisted self-image is part of our baggage. anyways, congrats on reaching 180.
Smut
it’s great to have another story from you. would you rather we buy it from Amazon or from Smashwords?
I just cringe whenever I allow myself to think of the number of people who are against Obama because he’s black. I’m especially horrified when I meet folks in THIS state who feel that way. After all, he may be the son of a black man from Kenya, but he’s also the son of a white woman from Kansas.
Hey, if you want to buy my smut, either place is good!
Amazon only sells a Kindle version. For any other format you need to go to Smashwords
it is cringe-worthy, that and all the “dog-whistle” words used in the campaign to appeal to the basest, racist(est) demons of out nature.
got your story from Amazon, mainly because I didn’t want to create yet another online account with Smashwords.
What I remember about body image, when I lost almost 100 lbs 20+ years ago, is that for the most part I always still saw the fat person in the mirror (sole exception was the time I was admiring my own ass as I did the stairclimber – and was not alone, a whole bunch of guys hit on me that day). When I started regaining the weight, I suddenly started seeing the thin person in the mirror… even though I was getting fatter. Now I don’t know what the hell I see – maybe a lot of my personality and none of my body?
Gawd, it’s sooo hard to parse the body/brain divide. Especially since my motivation for losing the weight is all wrapped up in my issues with my mother, her weight, her attitudes about my weight, etc. etc etc. Uuuuuugh!
I would much rather be seeing my personality and not my body in the mirror.
I’ve enjoyed seeing my personality but it’s also made it hard to understand that other people are seeing, and reacting to, my body first. I think that’s why it took losing the ability to walk (without crutches) for me to acknowledge how fat I really am. But better late than never.
Redz, some of us don’t got Kindles. Is your Smashwords account set up to forward it into the B&N ecosystem? I get a lot of Smashwords stuff through them.
I was so skinny for so many years that I am always surprised to look in the mirror (or at my thighs and stomach) and see fat there. Then I remember that I was skinny b/c I had a metabolic disorder and couldn’t absorb nutrients so there’s that.
Also, when I first saw AmyH on Sunday, I immediately thought she had lost weight since the last time I saw her, so there’s also that.
And the people who quit over the smutty story? WTF? That’s bizarro world “logic”.
Small amounts of votes can affect your local town’s politics. City Council and School Board and stuff. A fair amount of people I know who are in states that are safe one way or the other (NY, TX) are going ahead with third-party for President in the hopes that someone, anyone will reach the magic 5% to get noticed. I’ll be interested to hear how many votes Jill Stein gets.
Eventually the Smashwords will filter thru to B&N but not yet.
I’ll wait, then. Moar sales on moar platforms! Smut everywhere!
Hahaha! A smut in every pot!
Smut for everyone, regardless of their reading device! Equal access to smut! It’s the American way!
Give me smut or give me alcohol!!!
Or both!
Yeah, the dealio is the Smashwords has to vet the book before it goes out in all formats. Let’s just say, their vetting process is prolonged and uncertain.
I shall be double sure to buy it then ASAP so that they’ll maybe get the idea that the vetting needs to go faster. Feel free to tell them you have a buyer waiting.
Yay, I have a Kindle, and downloading e-Books from Amazon is easier than getting mp3s from iTunes. I also love smut, especially folktale-themed smut.
Weight loss is hard, especially after you hit 40. I was used to being a skinny size 8 for most of my life, but after Baby #3, my big lunker son, I couldn’t get rid of those extra pounds. Then came grad school and those late-night pizzas and beer after hours of just sitting in the library, reading and sifting through the stacks. Kaboom! I still have these two ID photos, one taken at the beginning when I’d just been accepted into an MA program, and another taken two years later. You can’t believe it’s the same woman, especially since the second one looks like she’s drunk with puffy cheeks and a goofy grin. (I swear I wasn’t, I was just hot and flushed from standing in a stuffy hallway for half an hour.) Now I’m eating healthier, after putting up with my parents’ meat and potato (or rice, most days) diet for two years. My doctor says I have to ramp up the cardio however, and that’s tough, especially when you have a full day and the weather doesn’t love you running around in it. But you should give yourself a little applause for getting down to 180. Even a few pounds lost is a huge accomplishment.
Yeah, I really only notice difference when I look at pictures of myself. Then I can see “Oh, I do look a lot different at 180 than I did at 210.” In real life, though, I don’t see any difference.
And as much as weight is an issue, being healthy is so much more important. Eating things that are good for you and getting that exercise in.
I cannot lose the last few pounds that I should. BUT…I feel fit, and I am happy and healthy. I was one of those lucky skinny people until I hit 50. I knew I was lucky and was very grateful for it.
Now I see how it’s so so SO hard to lose weight.
I am going to eat healthy and try to keep moving (although my metabolism is groaning to a stop….a couple more decades is all I want)…….and I am not going to worry about weight.
If you felt fat when you were much much lighter, then you are going to have to mentally tell those “fat thoughts” to get lost.
(I don’t really know what I am talking about…..just trying to be a cheerleader).
Hahaha! Cheerleading is good. I do need to find a way to tell those fat thoughts to go away.
Ran out of comments to Lurkie. Yes…both would be fine. I didn’t want to go all ballistic (she said “ball”) and say “Give me smut or give me death”…….so I tried to refine it.
As this good cabernet is doing as well.
Lol. I am going to download Red’s Krampus now. It will take my mind off stuff.
Red wine for Red smut!
Huzzah!!!
Yes, if Krampus smut can’t take your mind off the election, there’s just no hope for you.
Hehe, you’re an entertaining lot, peeps
fatcat, you missed the part on FB where we decided to replace the word “Vote” with “Fart”. Oh, I laughed so hard.
I farted for Obama.
Fart early and often.
Farter Fraud.
Take your farter registration card with you.
Ah, it was a good night and today was a good day, even though I had to be all restrained around the very grumpy Republicans at work.
I’m sorry, but I will no longer be reading this blog, as it does not contain near enough smut to suit my taste …
Snert.
I know right? Now she’s expecting us to pay for the already minimal smut content!
I’m enjoying Krampus VERY much.
Look what archie mcphee just released: http://mcphee.com/shop/krampus-sweater.html