That is the message I had in my email when I got to work. You know what, I think the university might just have to increase the size of my inbox, because the influx of crazy is right off the fucking scales. I used to just get one department’s worth of crazy. Now I get 4 departments of crazy. And I’m still basically two weeks behind on everything, because of the two weeks I spent dealing with Mme. Noir’s demise.
I’m pretty much surrounded by people who are either purposely gaslighting me, or who are themselves so fucking crazy that it just spills over like a clogged up toilet.
This is the time of year when all tenured faculty members have to submit to an annual review. It’s not a big deal. Turn in your class evaluations and whatever articles you’ve had published in the last year, alongside a pretty basic three-page form. Then I upload all the electronic files to a main webpage where they can all look at each other’s files. Simple, right?
OMG, no. One faculty member gave me a flash drive with 9 folders, each containing at least 5 subfolders, and in one instance, 11 subfolders, each of which contained anywhere from 4 to 17 files. I did what any sane, and hoping to stay that way, secretary would do: I combined them all into a PDF portfolio. Today, she is LIVID. She wants them all uploaded in their correct folders as separate documents! Thankfully, my boss also wants me to stay sane, because she said, “Do whatever is best.” What’s best is nothing. The PDF portfolio works fine and it saved me about 3 hours of work. Suck it, Professoressa Infinitesimale. (Truth: she is the smallest adult I have ever met who was not actually a dwarf. When we hired her, we had to have a desk and chair custom made for her.)
Second faculty member sent me an uncompressed PDF that was 78 MB. WTF? It’s literally every scrap of paper he produced last year, including some 140 emails he exchanged with his publisher.
Third faculty member emailed me two photos from his phone–the two halves of a holiday card he got from a former student. Photos. That I had to piece together. Because never mind that many-thousand-dollar Konica Minolta that would have scanned the card and turned it into a PDF in about 30 seconds. Oy. Oy.
And you know what my very first task of the day was? Deleting Mme. Noir from the department’s website. I know it has to be done, but it wasn’t a great thing to get this popup. I am become Death. >delete<
This afternoon, I hope, will be significantly better. Princess Josey B. Wiggles has what is likely to be her final post-surgery follow up appointment. If the knee is deemed stable and healed, she will be cleared for bumpusing. After 4 months of no bumpusing, she is more than ready for it. Just in time for another cold front and more snow. Of course, she loves snow, and so there may well be a trip to dog park, no matter how much I don’t want to go in the snow.