Playing nicely

This is a picture of the current favorite dog toy and the favorite cat toy in my house. 

  

Dragon is stuffed and floppy and has a grunter (rather than a squeaker.) Xmas Xmouse is red sparkly fabric filled with some catnip and has a glittery silver tail that ends in a jingle bell. 

The reason this is of interest (to me anyway) is that the dogs play with both of these toys. They play tuggy with Dragon and drag him around. They gnaw on him and shake him vigorously. He’s pretty well worn, as you can see. 

Xmas Xmouse, however, is an object of fascination and reverence to the dogs. Biggie carries him around the house, gingerly clasped her enormous maw, so as not to damage him. Josey will bat him around the kitchen, gently tapping him with her paw or nudging with her nose. He jingles so enticingly, but she never gives into the urge galumph or pounce on him. 

I find it so adorable that they both want to play with Xmas Xmouse, because he is Cat Toy! But they’re so gentle and careful, like they sense that rough play will ruin him. I sometimes wonder if they’re mimicking how the cats play or if they’re trying to invite the cats to play.  

Posted in Dawgs, Nekkid Kittehs!!!! | Tagged , , , | 15 Comments

Welp, didn’t get that unfucked

I had hoped that today’s post would be an Unfuck Your Habitat, but then I didn’t get it unfucked. Ugh. I was sick for two weeks, and had the misfortune of getting sick right in the middle of a project. So my house is not just sick messy, it’s sick interrupted project messy. Like this.

Like a dumpster vomited in my living room

Like a dumpster vomited in my living room

And some of this.

How long since I mopped the floor?

How long since I mopped the floor?

And a little of this:

Mmmm, pile of sweaty project clothes and dog towels.

Mmmm, pile of sweaty project clothes and dog towels.

And then to add insult to injury, the fabulous new iced tea maker that I love so much:

So lovely!

So lovely!

It has a serious flaw. If you forget to put the carafe lid on, the machine doesn’t brew into the pitcher. It just brews and overflows all over your kitchen. The counters, the floors, the junk drawer. Yeah, I could have done without learning that lesson the hard way.

Design flaw: floods your kitchen drawers.

Design flaw: floods your kitchen drawers.

But that is one thing I unfucked:

Sometimes you have to make a mess to clean a mess.

Sometimes you have to make a mess to clean a mess.

And then, the dogs discovered Easter egg hunts. On two separate walks, they’ve located eggs that were too well hidden for the original intended recipients to find, but my keen sniffer dogs located two eggs with candy. Obviously, I had to eat the candy and trade the dogs dog treats for it. You can see that Josey has a sharp eye for what’s fair.

Dat is two pieces of candy, Mama.

Dat is two pieces of candy, Mama.

And I did something that will surely drive me crazy: I bought a step tracker thingy. Four days in, I’m already allowing it to goad me into walking more. It has not yet talked me out of Easter candy.

Walk!

Walk!

Posted in Puckett House, Random Redscylla | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Retro Recycle

So I buy my dog poop bags in bulk now. Because two 60-lb. dogs produce a lot of poop and we do a lot of walking. I got tired of seeing this though:



It’s one thing to buy a giant box of poop bags and another to have to see that box front and center in your living room. Then I had this idea:



After all, nobody wanted those giant floppy disc storage boxes at work. 



Posted in Dawgs | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

The end of an era

At last, all the stars aligned. My bed frame, which was a birthday gift from my mom, has been sitting in boxes in my dining room since August. It was waiting on me to finish my headboard, which started life as old door. Then the headboard was done, and it was waiting on me being able to afford a new mattress, and then once I got my advance check, it was waiting on me to get my shit together. Welp, shit has been gathered!





Dogs and I will have to readapt to sleeping on a regular bed after all this time being dirty hippies. 

Posted in Random Redscylla | 12 Comments

For Larui on her birthday

I hope it’s a good one!

weirdmasteCuz the best part about the internet–finding weird friends!

Posted in Good things, Random Redscylla | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Welcome to my experiment

Two years ago, my eyesight started shifting in ways that made it hard to work on the computer. That or my eyes were just sick and tired of the strain of computer work. I got my prescription adjusted, then got it adjusted again. Then I got into an argument with my eye doctor and didn’t go back for almost a year. I figured, if she wasn’t actively trying to help me fix the problem, there was no reason to dole out for co-pays.

DEFPOTEC

DEFPOTEC

I mean, I knew I couldn’t stay away forever, so with my annual exam a year overdue, I finally made an appointment. I sat through all the exam parts, the blinding, the puffing, the poking, the dilating, the violating. Then, when she started making her notes, I said, “What’s your goal when you write my prescription?”

“To correct it to as close to perfect as we can,” she said, like a little robot. Smiley face! Praise Jesus! (She is very smiley and Jesus-y, which to be honest sets my teeth on edge, though I wish it didn’t.)

“So 20/20? Even though, in fact, I don’t need 20/20 vision?”

She started in on something about best outcomes and something-something, and I finally just cut her off. Bottom line: what do I need 20/20 vision for? I spend all day, five days a week, plus extra hours at home, after work, and on the weekends, working on a computer. A computer that is 3 feet away from my face. Not 20 feet. 3 feet. I also spend a great deal of time looking at my stupid smart phone, less than 2 feet from my face. Often the strain of focusing on these two glowing screens makes my eyes tired.

“Well, that’s why I keep suggesting you get some reading glasses to wear while you work on the computer or read. To adjust your vision for closer work,” she said. It’s true, she’s been nagging at me to do that for years, but I haven’t. Why? Because it’s fucking stupid. I spend the majority of my waking hours needing to have the vision for close work. Why the fuck is the default setting to overcorrect my vision and then tell me to wear glasses WITH my contact lenses for the majority of my work day? Especially as I wear contacts so I don’t have to wear glasses.

I finally spelled it out to her in those terms. I said, “I drive less than 10 minutes a week, and that is the only time that 20/20 vision is of real benefit to me. On the other hand, I need close vision for 50+ hours a week, but you continue to prioritize that 10 minutes over the 50+ hours. In what world does that make sense?”

After a little uncomfortable silence, she said, “Well, if you’re willing to experiment, we can adjust the prescription to retain more of your near vision.”

So after 30+ years of having my vision corrected to 20/20, I am changing tactics. She reduced my prescription, so that my vision is only corrected to 20/40. So far, it’s been a little weird. Driving home from my appointment, I couldn’t read street signs well, and walking across campus, I didn’t recognize someone who was waving at me until I was right up on them.

On the other hand, looking at the computer all afternoon, I can tell that it requires less effort for me to focus on the screen. I’ve been horribly near-sighted for most of my life. I got my first glasses at age 8, about 4 years later than when I actually needed them. I’ve worn contacts since I was 12. It’s weird to be “taking a step back,” to have my eyesight less corrected than is considered optimal, but it makes sense. Correct my vision for what I need, not for some random ideal.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

 

Posted in Random Redscylla, Work is work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Worst. Cinemas. Ever.

So, I didn’t exactly go into Cinemas with high expectations this year, because my mom had surgery on Dec. 22nd. She got her right knee replaced, and none of us thought it was going to go well. After all, 1.) she weighs close to 300 lbs. and 2.) her older sister died shortly after a similar surgery.

On the same day, Biggie Bigs went in for a fairly routine corneal resurfacing to help an ulcer on her cornea heal faster. She came home and was all, “Goddamn, a cone?”

That's okay, I can actually lick my own eye.

That’s okay, I can actually lick my own eye.

But by day three, she seemed to feel fine, and we headed out to Wichita, to spell my sister Sloth in taking care of post-surgery Mom.

Then, this happened:

My fathe feelth puffy

My fathe feelth puffy

And then this happened:

Theriously, thith thucks

Theriously, thith thucks

I schlepped the poor old girl back home, not to see her regular vet, who did the surgery and was now on vacation, but to at least see someone at her home practice, who would have access to all her records. Sadly, that vet sent me back to Wichita with some antibiotics, some pain meds, and some general nonsense about how we’d investigate the cause of the swelling after the swelling went down (and one presumes after the holidays.)

Then … shit got real.

OMG! It's ooooozing!

OMG! It’s ooooozing!

Yep, the swelling got worse, and then the abscess broke open and started to leak. Rather than waste a trip home to see useless fill-in vet, I took her to my sister’s vet, who promptly squeezed the abscess, making me throw up in my mouth a little, and whisked Biggie into surgery. Took out a tooth and started to drain that monster abscess. All told, Biggie stayed in the hospital for three days. Longer than my mom was in the hospital for her knee.

And Josey was all, “What did you do with my sister?”

You are not in the circle of trust

You are not in the circle of trust

And my mom, high on pain meds was all, “Awww, what a sweet puppy. Of course, she can sit on the couch and watch TV.” (For the record, dogs are not allowed on furniture at my mom’s house, except when she is high as a kite.)

Wheeeeeeee!

Wheeeeeeee!

Meanwhile I cooled my jets by doing such crafty projects as … sewing a basket cover for my mom’s walker. Pictured above.

Finally, a day after we’d originally expected to be home, I got Biggie from the vet, and she was all, “Holy shit. What’s this tube? Poking out of my fucking face?”

Still life with tube in the face

Still life with tube in the face

But everyone was happy to be home. And then after the tube came out, there were treats.

Treats are better without a tube

Treats are better without a tube

And there were cuddles.

Mama's lap is the best place when you're recovering from being a tube face.

Mama’s lap is the best place when you’re recovering from being a tube face.

So we did survive Cinemas, but it was pretty darned shitty. Oh, and because my aunt was visiting, we didn’t actually get to watch any decent movies for Cinemas. Or we didn’t get to watch anything that wasn’t carefully curated by my aunt, or talked over by everybody. Next year, Sloth and I have sworn that we’re doing an old fashioned Cinemas, where you stay home and lie in bed to watch movies.

Posted in Bitch n Moan, Dawgs, WTF? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 22 Comments